


if i didn't know better, i'd think you were still around

by comfortcharacters



Series: evermore collection [8]
Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Based on a Taylor Swift Song, Canon Compliant, Canonical Character Death, Coping, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-15 12:59:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28563924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/comfortcharacters/pseuds/comfortcharacters
Summary: In their hearts, Shorter was alive.
Relationships: Ash Lynx & Shorter Wong, Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji, Okumura Eiji & Shorter Wong
Series: evermore collection [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2053434
Kudos: 15





	if i didn't know better, i'd think you were still around

**Author's Note:**

> this fic is loosely inspired by taylor swift's "marjorie"

Ash was not fortunate enough to live a life free from misery.

Misery, suffering, twists of fate so convoluted and cruel that they must’ve been written by the powers above specifically to torment him: these were the truths that Ash held close to his heart. Feeling pain was Ash’s mother tongue and he never lost his fluency. 

But misery, especially teenage misery, begs for company – suffering alone is a burden that even Ash, for all the resilience he developed against his will, was not strong enough to handle. When Ash met Shorter, he scarcely realized it, but he met a kindred spirit. 

Two bright kids abandoned by the system, powerless to do anything but spit in the face of their circumstances and become fearless leaders instead.

Ash admired Shorter, though he’d hardly give him the satisfaction to know about it. In a world where trust was a commodity rarely given, Shorter somehow laid claim to all of Ash’s. They were friends, and both too terrified to admit it. Connection brought destruction, caring meant weakness, and willing to die for someone was all but a guarantee. 

(Once Eiji arrived, bright-eyed, eager, and everything Ash had forgotten how to be, self-preservation disappeared entirely.

But in hindsight, Shorter had thawed Ash’s heart enough for Eiji to reach in, grab it with a warm embrace, and never let go.) 

Their days together, three kids against the world, were short-lived. Even as they chased to stop something capable of ruining their lives, treasured memories made their way into Ash’s soul.

Shorter, in an apron he must’ve stolen from a cabinet somewhere, cooking breakfast _so_ domestically and humming in the morning sunlight. Eiji sprawled across the twin-sized bed, stealing an afternoon nap while he still could while Ash watched on with a fond smile. The three of them, laughing at the sheer absurdity of them, in their disastrous circumstances, road tripping to Cape Cod and venturing out to Los Angeles. 

One day, Ash dared himself to hope, they’d take the trip for real. 

(He should’ve known, even then, just how foolish it would be to dream.)

* * *

Ash thought LA would be kinder than New York. He loved the city that knocks him down and continues to destroy him, but he was ready for a brief escape from the life that waited for him restlessly.

The sunshine, it turns out, was nothing but a façade.

* * *

When Ash saw Shorter, his trusted confidant, his fellow leader, his _friend_ against the odds, reduced to nothing but a writhing mess on the ground, he suddenly felt panic. 

Shorter’s only road to freedom rested in a bullet, and Ash had to lose his best friend by his own hand.

Ash has fired a gun countless times. Handling death was second nature.

This was the only time he’s ever hesitated.

* * *

Days later, visions of Shorter’s lifeless body flashed through Ash’s mind unprompted, reminding him that _he_ was responsible for Shorter’s death, that _he_ was the reason he was gone forever.

But Ash, for once in his life, was wrong.

Shorter was still alive.

Throughout the countless days and sleepless nights they spent fighting for their own safety, for Chinatown’s, for Harlem’s. They felt Shorter every time.

He was in every step they took, in every plan they made, in every resounding cheer for brief victories that his gang proudly claimed in his timeless honor. He was in every heartwrenching sob that Ash allowed himself to vocalize from the safety of Eiji’s arms, thanking every deity from above for being merciful enough to spare Eiji from a similar fate.

In every pained breath, in every unspoken memory, in every desperate fight, Shorter was alive.

He was in the very fiber of his gang, of the boys he swore to protect, who carried on his legacy with the reverence that it deserved. Ash looked into Sing’s eyes, so young and resolute and hardened, and saw a boy who deserved saving. He saw a boy who deserved a better ending than the one met by his idol, than the unrelenting cruelty that played out in Shorter’s final moments. 

A better ending than the one that Ash was silently sure was waiting for him, too.

Ash didn’t believe in fate or miracles. But he knew, with unwavering conviction, that Shorter was still around, indefinitely protecting those who would be gifted with a second chance.

* * *

(In the end, it didn't matter how valiantly he fought against his destiny. Ash wasn’t fortunate enough to get his second chance.)

**Author's Note:**

> i decided to make this one into a tribute to shorter, from the eyes of ash. it's different from my usual writing style, but no harm in trying new stuff out, right?
> 
> say hi on [twt](https://twitter.com/comfrtcharacter)
> 
> edit: my dear friend made incredible artwork partially inspired by this piece! check it out [here](https://twitter.com/KuroaoN/status/1347284496220094464?s=07&fbclid=IwAR10pgf5V5zf2LHAvnmbn7t8KOqvBZVtESx77Ont1XwMXzdnzrWXQUJ-6Xw) or [here!](https://kuroao-neko.tumblr.com/post/639686280631009280/shorter-wong-plum-blossoms-%E6%A2%85%E8%8A%B1-the-flower-that?fbclid=IwAR1P9p9iqfV-BZmCpOLCDXTW_qcPbIwWAuNn1s0wCKcaEmJLAhhUVxOoOU4)


End file.
